IVF - Danger Zone

WOW, hormones are some serious stuff. I am still on week two of the Lupron and am really starting to feel the craziness AF shoudl be here anyday so along with the hormones I have some serious PMS.

The hard part right now is the side effects. The migrains, moodiness, hot flashes, weight gain, depression, nervousness, ughhh I am crawling out of my skin. One second I am screaming, next crying, then happy, then just stone cold with no feelings. This rollercoaster is getting really hard to handle. I have dealt with severe depression for years and I do not like feeling this way again.

About three more weeks of this craziness, God I hope I can handle it.


I could really use my own emotional right now.

IVF - Onto week 2

Well I made it through my first week of injections and am proud to say that last night I didn't even flinch or run away once.

Currently I have 4 bandaids on. I am slowly taking them off.

I have to send out HUGE HUGS & PROPS to my friend Lisa. Only a true friend would chat with you online to keep your mind off your dh sticking a needle in your butt. Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!!

This week is a big week, I am waiting for AF to arrive so I can begin the stimms and get this show on the road.

IVF - Day 3 of Lupron

STILL OUCH!!!!

Getting better only took dh around 10 minutes to chase me around and hold me down.

Currently have three bandaids. Thinking about taking one off tonight.

Last night was day 3 of the Lupron injection. I chicken out on getting in the thigh, found another good spot on my belly. Tonight I don't think I will be able to get around it, it must go in the thigh.

I found out that a woman I know from an IVF board just got a +HPT!!! She has been trying for over 12 years, 4 IUI's and 2 failed IVF's. This time they used a donor and it did the trick. Knowing her story and am rethinking my decision and I may donate the embies that are not used after this or a IVF works. There are so many woman who need woman like me to help them by mommy's. Being a mom is the wonderful thing and I would love any woman who wants to experience that to be able to.

Funny, yet scary story - Corey locked Kevin in the garage last night while I was in the shower. I came out and he was banging on the door. Corey was sitting in front of the door, I am not sure if he didn't know how to unlock the deadbolt or he knew he was going to be in trouble. Poor Kevin he was so upset. I better get a hide-a-key now just in case. My child gets smarter and smarter every day.

IVF - Day 2 of Lupron

OUCH!!!!

Only took dh 15 minutes to chase me around and hold me down.

Currently have two bandaids.

Last night was day 2 of the Lupron injection. This shot is given daily and and in a different area. I get to choose from my belly, thigh or upper buttock. The first 2 shots were done in my belly becasue it has the most fat, tonight I will need to move onto the thigh. It's going to hurt.

Looking at the calendar and noticing that August is next week. Whoa, I begin the hardcore hormones in 9 days or less. All depends on when the hag shows up.

My time is running out to determine if I am ready to put two embies and chance having twins OR if I should be practical and only put one embie and pray that it will implant. If God ever thought about sending me a sign, this is the time. Pass on the message if you happen to speak with him.

Vegas it looks like your stuck with me!

Kevin’s company is about to sign a contract to supply and program all the AMX equipment in the condos going up on the strip. This is a HUGE deal for the company and for Kevin. Kevin is the only AMX programmer they have, so they will be sending him in for some more schooling and once everything gets put into place he will he managing that unit. I really want to live by my family but never would I ask Kevin to turn down an opportunity like this. Until the day I die I will be his #1 cheerleader even if it means I have to adjust what I want.

As a compromise we are going to start looking at bigger houses. This time we are going to buy brand new. Which is good because by the time it is built we can sell our house without the penalities. With the excitement of possibly getting pregnant with twins we are looking into getting a live in nanny. My girfriend has lots of family in Mexico who would jump at the chnace to come here and be a nanny. It would help so much with daycare. I don't want to even think what it woudl cost to have 3 in daycare. As everyone knows I am a planner and it is all I can think about right now. I would love to stay home and that will be my goal with this real estate venture. I just need to get my ass in gear and all of this is good for me. I need a good swift kick in the pants.

A moment of self pity or just a cold?

I hate being jealous and feeling bad about myself, but I just can't help it. I know it wrong, I should feel this way, I should be happy for my friends good fortune. I guess that is easier said then done.

I was sick all weekend with a really bad chest cold/sore throat. To make things worse my little man was also sick, he loves to share. When Corey gets sick he gets MEAN. He screams, throw & hits, he really hates not feeling well. I had to cancel going to the waterpark and movies and he wasn't very happy about that. It makes me feel like I'm not being a good mother. Other kids just want to snuggle when they don't feel well, mine gets pissed becasue I am not making it go away.

Kevin was gone all weekend so I was one my own with my masherman. He gave back Sunday and gave me the good news that our really good freinds were expecting #2. There comment was, "Well we weren't going to have anymore but what the hell". I was able to suck it up and be happy. I know my time is coming.

This morning the ONE person who talks to me at work told me she was 14 weeks pregnant. Her and her husband (who also works here) are the sweetest people and I am really happy for them. She was spotting this weekend and she was so scared so she decided me what was going on. I am really excited for them.

I know my time is coming, just not fast enough for me right now. I guess I am just in one of those poor me moods right now, maybe I should just blame it on the cold medicine.

Drawing blood is never any fun.

Especially if you are afraid of needles and have nonexistant veins. Nurses usually pass me off because they don't even want to try. The nurse joked with me about making her job hard, but its not the first or last time I will hear that. I drank a bottle of water just before to see if it would help. I think it did or the nurse was just awesome becasue she got the vein in one shot and was able to fill the 9 tubes without poking me again.

Now that my blood test was done, I was able to set my appointment for the HSG. It is next Wednesday @ 2pm and hopefully I can find a driver. The last time I had this test done it hurt like hell. They always forget to tell you how badly you cramp afterwards. I am prepared this time.

I talked to my boss about the time off I will need in the next few months and she had no problem with it. It was actually excited for me and wishes me good luck. She is going to let me give her days notices for the last minute appointments and I will be able to make up as much time as possible so I don't have to take vacation or personal days. Its was hard to plan when everything revolves around your cycle and when it may start.

Its weird because I feel like everything is going to smoothly. Something has to go wrong, it can't be this perfect. Kevin even scheduled is test for Thursday morning. That means we will be clear to try to get pg ourselves during ovulation. Wouldn't that be a hoot if it actually worked. You never know, I think that is how we got pregnant with Corey. We were getting ready for our last cycle of IUI covered by insurance, Kevin got hit way down there, one side swelled up and turned black, the doctor said it was just bruised, he felt better we did it and BAM here's Corey.

I doubt Kevin will let me kick him way down there but maybe its the pressure we need to get thing moving. LOL